The phone call we’ve been dreading.

I’m just going to come right out with this, because at the moment it is all I can do to remind myself to keep breathing.  Tonight, we got a phone call from our adoption agency.  It didn’t need to hear the tone of our social worker’s voice to know that getting a late night call means bad news.  And it did.

In January, we were officially matched with Baby M.  That meant that he was off the table to be adopted by anyone else, save one other family – the family who adopted his older brother.  The laws of his country give a blood sibling’s family the right to step in and claim parental rights over him at any point, even in the middle of him being adopted by someone else.  By us.  That’s what is happening.

We don’t know why.  We don’t know why now.  We don’t know why they didn’t choose to adopt him when he was born, or why they left him in the care of the state for over a year before deciding they wanted him.  We don’t know why it is suddenly important to join him with his biological brother when they have had no prior relationship, or why they suddenly want to do that now.  We don’t know who they are.  We don’t even know if they are from our country or his, or some other country altogether.  We’re not allowed to know.

There is only one, small sliver of hope.  We have no rights whatsoever to Baby M over the family of his biological brother.  Therefore, our only option is to try to appeal to their good nature that he belongs with us.  That whether the law says so or not, we consider him our son, and have so for months and months.   Our agency has suggested that we write to this family, explain how much we love him, want him, and already consider him to be a part of our family.  We should tell them how we have been studying ASL and share detailed information about the resources we have at our disposal.  She suggested we include tons of pictures of us, our family, our home.   And that we should send pictures of his room … the room we just decorated and painted just for him.

To be honest, it is a long shot.  But it’s all we have.

There are many things we don’t know, but over the last three years of working at our church, I can’t count how many times our pastor has counseled me to focus on the things I do know, to focus on what is truth.  That’s what I will do now.

I know that God has a plan for this.

I know that God loves Baby M more than I ever could.

I know that God already knows the outcome of this.

I know that God is sovereign over this.

I know that God knows this other family, and that He loves them.

I know that God’s will will be done.

I know that God loves me.  He loves us.

I know that God will not abandon us.

I know that God will hold me up when I can’t stand on my own.

I know that God is faithful.

I know that God did not set us on this journey without a plan for how it would end.

I know that no matter what, whether Baby M is adopted by us or by this other family, His ways are best.

I know that He will get me through this.  I know He will get us through this.


We are heartbroken.  Heartsick.  More than ever before, we ask for your prayers – we need your prayers.  Please.  Right now, it just feels like a horrible, horrible dream.  I’m dreading going to sleep, because I know this is going to be something that I forget about during the night and I’ll have to wake up and know the truth all over again.  And knowing the truth the first time has been one of the most difficult moments of my life.

Please pray.


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  • Aunt Marcia

    All our love and prayers are with you at this time… Aunt Marcia & Uncle Craig

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