Prayer: For Mothers & Fathers, Brothers & Sisters

This post is a part of our Orphan Awareness Month series in November 2014 to advocate, educate, and spark discussion about topics relating to adoption and orphan care.  To check out the other posts in the OAM series, click here.


This week, we’re going to talk a lot about the not-so-fun side of adoption.  Adoption is a wonderful, beautiful, redemptive thing.  We’re big fans, obviously.  But what is often overlooked in conversations about adoption is the profound loss, grief, trauma, and heartache that go hand-in-hand with all those good things.  No matter how you look at it, the goodness of adoption can never fully erase the enormous about of pain that accompanies it for all those involved.

We get more into the grief and loss components of adoption on Wednesday, but for now I want to zoom in on one particular group to pray for this week: adoptive families.

Source: Flickr, via Creative Commons. By Bowen Chin.

Adoption is incredibly stressful.

That feels like the understatement of the year, but I don’t know any other way to sum it up.  It is STRESSFUL.  If you have been following our journey or any other adoption journey for long, you have probably picked up on that.  It simultaneously the best and worst thing I have ever done.  Weirdly enough, I wouldn’t change a thing about it, but dang … that doesn’t mean it has been easy.  There have been days I wanted to quit, days I couldn’t get out of bed, weeks on end where I couldn’t remember how much time had passed since the last time I didn’t cry during the span of a single day – sometimes from joy, sometimes from pain.

And the thing is … nothing could be more worth it.  A few days ago, we shared with you just how much is at stake.  Today at a dentist appointment, the hygienist asked me what would happen to Baby W if he was never adopted.  It was difficult to answer – it isn’t something I like thinking about.  Would he be lucky enough to stay with his wonderful foster family his whole childhood?  Bounce around from one foster home to the next?  End up in an orphanage?  Ultimately be turned out onto the streets once he aged out of the system?  Statistically speaking, every one of the kids who find themselves in that scenario will end up homeless, unemployed, in prison … most not making it to age 20.


Of course it is worth it.  Of course.

And yet most every step of the way is like running through wet cement, trying to get you to turn back and call it quits.  It’s hard.  It is really, really hard.  Winning back a life is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.  Big rewards come with a big cost.

That is why this week, I would like to ask you to pray for adoptive families.  Pray for families …

  • … who are beginning the adoption process after battling infertility.
  • … who are standing at the starting line, feeling like the finish line is a million miles away.
  • … who don’t know where the money will come from.
  • … who are struggling with maintaining day-to-day life while trying to complete an unending stream of paperwork.
  • … who don’t have a strong support system.
  • … who trying to keep busy to stop them from dwelling on the wait.
  • … who lost a referral.
  • … who have to sit back and wait for paperwork delays or ongoing approvals while their child suffers in an orphanage.
  • … who thought this would be the holiday season they would spend with their child, but it isn’t happening.
  • … who have to leave children at home to travel for an adoption.
  • … who are stuck in-country somewhere.
  • … who are home and working on attachment and bonding.
  • … who’s attachment/bonding isn’t going well.
  • … who are silently suffering from Post-Adoption Depression.
  • … who wonder when post-adoption life will feel “normal”.
  • … who are helping their children process their adoption.
  • … who are advocating for their children.
  • … who are adjusting to a new sibling.
  • … who are struggling with the pain of walking their children through healing from past traumas.
  • … who made it through the adoption process, but have medical battles to fight now.
  • … who are celebrating milestones.


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